In a Women's Prison
In a Women's Prison is an episode of The Super Wario Bros. Strike Back! Transcript We see Wario and Bowser sneaking into a house through the window. BOWSER: Are you sure this is a smart idea, Wario? WARIO: Did you ever ask yourself that the millions of times you kidnapped Peach? BOWSER: Uh... no. WARIO: Then shut up! Bowser and Wario fall through the window onto the kitchen floor. BOWSER: Ow! Wario gets up and looks around. WARIO: So we're going to steal all of Nim-Nom's stuff and then sneak on out of here like nothing ever happened. Got it? BOWSER: It's a pretty simple plan... but why are we doing this, exactly? WARIO: Because that little shit has had this coming for a long time, and the other day, when he called me fat, that was the last straw. He's done for now. BOWSER: Um... sure. Wario walks into the living room and sees Nim-Nom's big fancy TV. WARIO: Oh, man! The living room lights come on. Wario screams like a little girl, and turns around to see Nim-Nom, holding a shotgun. NIM-NOM: How'd you get in here? WARIO: You left the kitchen window open, idiot! NIM-NOM: I'm surprised you could fit through. WARIO: Bowser! Help! Wario looks into the kitchen and sees Bowser jump through the window and run off into the street. WARIO: Bowser? The next day, Wario is in handcuffs, being walked down a hallway by a prison guard. GUARD: You're gonna rot in here. This is your 4000th strike! And your only supposed to have three! WARIO: It's not a big deal, I've been in prison plenty of times before. There's no cell built that can stop me! GUARD: Whatever you say, Waria. WARIO: Wait... Waria? Why'd you call me that? GUARD: Isn't that your name, ma'am? WARIO: Ma'am? GUARD: Nim-Nom told us you're a woman. WARIO: Do I look like a woman? GUARD: Looks can be deceiving, ma'am. They reach a big door at the end of the hallway. GUARD: Well... enjoy your stay. The guard pushes the big door open, and Wario looks into a large cafeteria full of female prisoners. WARIO: I don't know if I like this or not... GUARD: You got time to figure it out. The guard pushes Wario into the cafeteria and slams the door behind him. Wario flexes his muscles. WARIO: Ladies? The next day, Waluigi is visiting Wario. WALUIGI: So what happened? How'd they catch you? WARIO: It's all Bowser's fault! WALUIGI: Bowser said he tried to save you! He told everyone he knocked out a couple cops, and they had to get a helicopter and everything! Bowser said he only left when he got bored. WARIO: Of course he said all that! WALUIGI: So, uh... you join a gang yet? WARIO: I've tried, but all these ladies are so intimidating. WALUIGI: Did you say ladies? WARIO: It's a women's prison, Waluigi! WALUIGI: Oh, man, how did that happen? WARIO: Just another mistake by our flawed justice system... WALUIGI: Damn system! WARIO: Look... you gotta get me out of here, Waluigi... men and women aren't meant to share prisons together! If I hear one more passive-aggressive remark about my weight, I'm going to lose it! WALUIGI: Wow. Don't you worry about it, brother, I've got a plan. A brilliant plan! A guard walks up, and stares at Waluigi. WALUIGI: A plan to... KEEP YOU in prison! Yep! The guard walks away. At the house, Waluigi, Bowser, Donkey Kong, and Homer are gathered around the table. WALUIGI: We need a plan! DONKEY KONG: I thought you said you had one. WALUIGI: When have I ever had a plan? BOWSER: Probably a few times. A lightbulb turns on above Homer's head. HOMER: I've got it! DONKEY KONG: I doubt that, but we're listening... HOMER: First, we need to get some money. Everyone nods. HOMER: And get in a car. Everyone nods. HOMER: And get some frosty chocolate milkshakes! Everyone nods. HOMER: No, that's it. Waluigi sighs. WALUIGI: This is hopeless! That prison is a fortress. DONKEY KONG: Where is it, anyway? WALUIGI: Right by that big construction site. A lightbulb turns on above Bowser's head. Everyone looks at him BOWSER: No, I don't have an idea, that just happens sometimes. The next day, Wario is sitting in his cell, reading a women's fashion magazine. WARIO: Ooh, how fashionable! Wario's cellmate walks in. CELLMATE: Hey, Blubberella, still stinking up my cell? WARIO: It's my cell too, you know! CELLMATE: Your cell, your smell. Wario starts crying. WARIO: Why are you so MEAN? Another female prisoner walks in, who bares a striking resemblance to Waluigi, except with long blonde hair. WALUCY: Hi, I'm Wa... LUCY! WARIO: Walucy? CELLMATE: The hell is she doing here? Your GIRLFRIEND? Wario vomits all over his magazine. WARIO: Damn it, I was reading that! Wario and Walucy walk out into the courtyard. WALUCY: Listen up, Wario, I'm here to break you out! WARIO: Waluigi, I knew it was you! WALUCY: It's Walucy! WARIO: Sure, whatever. Walucy. So what's the plan? WALUCY: Donkey Kong is going to cause a distraction! At the construction site across the street, Donkey Kong climbs up to the highest platform. He grabs a large barrel with a fire symbol on it. DONKEY KONG: Here goes nothing! Donkey Kong throws the barrel down at the large fence surrounding the courtyard. It causes a big fiery explosion, destroying the fence. RANDOM PRISONER: We're free! All the prisoners run out into the street. WALUCY: That's not what I had in mind, but... it still works! Walucy and Wario run out into the street as well. A large van pulls up to them. Bowser is driving. BOWSER: Quick! Hop in! Wario and Walucy jump into the van, and see Waluigi and Homer. WARIO: Oh my god! But... you... HOMER: I know, I know, I missed you, too. WARIO: Shut up! Not you! Waluigi! Aren't you... Wario looks over at Walucy and pulls on her hair. WALUCY: Ow! WARIO: That's not a wig? WALUCY: No! WALUIGI: Wario, this is Walucy. Our cousin. WARIO: I thought that was YOU! WALUIGI: Why would I dress up like a woman? WARIO: To break me out of prison! WALUIGI: We didn't miss you that much. On top of the large construction tower, Donkey Kong looks down and sees the van driving away. DONKEY KONG: Uh... GUYS! Damn it! A plane flies by. DONKEY KONG: This is... this is too high up for my comfort. THE END. Morals *Don't let people misgender you or else you end up going to the wrong prison. Category:Episodes Category:Wario Crap